Once I had my first baby, I realized who in my life I had just been tolerating and who I had genuine connections with that were worth keeping up after having kids. If you haven’t had kids yet, just know that once you do your views of everyone and what actually matters to you will change dramatically.
This post is about how to detach from people you still have to see because of life circumstances or your inner people pleaser feels like “they still deserve to see my kids because of x, y, or z.”
#1: Silence is golden.
Simply stopping the act of speaking words out loud is a huge energy saver. Once you have decided someone is intolerable to be around, they will start sucking even more energy from you even before you see them because of the dread that sets in in anticipation of their physical presence. Try this next time you’re around this person or these people and notice how much energy you save.
#2: Stop defending yourself.
It is important to stop trying to prove yourself and your decisions to people that you want to detach from in order to truly separate that relationship. If you are still worrying about how to get them to accept you, you are still pouring your energy into a connection that you ultimately don’t want. Trying to prove yourself to people you don’t like will take all your attention away from other more important things in life like your kids, husband, or dogs.
#3: Focus your attention elsewhere.
When you are with the people you don’t like but there is also a dog, your kids, your partner, or anything else better there with you too, focus on them! While it adds stress to interact with intolerable people, it decreases stress to interact with your kids and animals. Then you can use your kids as a scapegoat to leave early.
Having kids will show you other peoples’ and your own true colors. This is something no one talked about when I was pregnant but I think it has had a great impact on my life.
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