I want to start by clarifying the fact that “mom rage” is a very real thing. I’m not sure people who haven’t actually experienced it can fully understand but it is certainly helpful to try.
Here are some inner wounds/thought patterns that were fueling my rage postpartum.
#1: “I am not good enough.”
This shame is a bit too common and felt by overachievers every day, myself included. If you find yourself thinking this as a new mom, please understand the best thing for your child is you, their mother. Babies are born NEEDING their mother for survival. It’s time to let go and trust yourself and your instincts.
#2: “I am responsible for everyone else’s happiness.”
Once I had a baby, all family members showed up to visit and they pretty much all have opinions that they share (directly or indirectly) still to this day. My new mom mind in my new mom body was struggling and looking for a band-aid in external validation so I took each comment to heart. All that matters after having a baby is you (the mother) and the baby.
#3: “I have to do everything alone.”
Now this one may actually be the truth (for a little while) in today’s culture and depending on your partner and family situation. Inn the case that you do have to do everything alone, I highly encourage you to join an online supportive community like this one. Finding some level of support is the only remedy to this belief, and I’m sorry I don’t have an easier answer than this.
#4: “I’m probably going to mess my son/daughter up.”
Repeat after me: “I’m doing my best with the knowledge I have.”
As mothers (HUMAN mothers) we cannot be perfectly happy every second of every day. Accept that you have big emotions and so does your child. Big emotions are natural and avoiding them will only make things worse by creating an impending explosion when you hit your breaking point.
